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March 23, 2003
scratching the surface
friday i met up with a couple of girlfriends for drinks at a little bar on the beach. we left work early, our boss ordered us out into the sunny afternoon god love him, so we headed out to down a couple of $3 margaritas on the beach.
we chatted about work, love, sex, and other general gossip goodies that got significantly better with each slurp. midway through, a couple of guys who'd been sitting behind us, stopped by our table on the way out, "i feel like i've just had my own personal version of Sex in the City," as though it's shocker to discover that women actually do use "that language". he added, "i feel like i've just learned all i need to know about women."
the three of us silently sat there looking up at him. a little perplexed and blinking. i broke the uncomfortable silence in my naturally charming fashion, "um, you need to get out more. you've barely scratched the surface my friend."
this was a guy clearly in his thirties that should not be completely oblivious. but what is it about grown men that cling to the idea that women gather and discuss betty lou's new haircut, their boyfriends and the state of jello molds? and why are they so shocked, or in this case enlightened, when the conversation turns to sex, gossip, graphic descriptions of hair removal, lubricants and threesomes?
seriously. this is not a rhetorical question. enlighten me.
Posted by heidijanet at March 23, 2003 11:02 AM
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Comments
We weren't TOTALLY silent. I believe I managed to say, "This ain't nuthin': wait till the sun goes down!"
But maybe I just thought it?
Posted by: Ariel at March 23, 2003 01:35 PM
true, true. i think all three of us may have started talking at once. i, but as usual, only heard what *i* said.
heh.
Posted by: heidijanet at March 23, 2003 06:08 PM
sometimes i think that there are men out there honestly NEVER listen to a woman when's she's talking, regardless of subject matter, unless they hear the word "sex" or some other word pertaining to the act of sex. this is not a generalization about ALL men. just some of them, such as those you encountered that day.
Posted by: leblanc at March 23, 2003 07:19 PM
i agree its not all men, leblanc, generalizations are inherently flawed. i do however remain surprised by the number of men that are flummoxed at the thought of women discussing "those things" in graphic detail a la locker room speak.
you might be right, maybe for some men it's just blah blah, whine whine until a women mentions "vibrator" and their ears perk right up!
Posted by: heidijanet at March 23, 2003 07:53 PM
Hi, I just followed the link from ariel... personally, I think a lot of guys just think it's hot to listen to girls talk about sex. They feign surprise, but really they're just surprised at their luck for having come across such a conversation in public.
Posted by: amy at March 24, 2003 06:41 AM
That certainly seemed to be this guy's response, Amy. It was like someone had slapped him silly with a g-string: he was shocked and loved it.
Posted by: Ariel at March 24, 2003 08:12 AM
don't believe everything you hear
Posted by: buck at March 24, 2003 05:13 PM
that is so odd. i wouldn't be able to refrain from questioning the person further.. has he never dated a woman? odd. very odd
Posted by: kim at March 24, 2003 10:08 PM
1) a lot of guys don't know any women as well as they know their mothers and mom never talked that way so they just don't expect it. Then again, I found my mom's vibe in her sock drawer when I was in 3d grade and she even told me what it was.
2) Men, I believe, discuss sex more than women do. That doesn't mean that women don't discuss sex, but men are so fixated it's pathetic. Also, women often shield men from their conversations on these subjects. So when we get an earful of their own conversation from the other side, it's a surprise - an a welcome one.
3) Some guys are just posing, pretending to be naieve so that the hot sexy chix with whom they're confronted won't think ill of them for knowing the dirty shameful secrets of human attraction and sexuality. These guys are craven and earn their social isolation and lifetimes of frustration.
Posted by: dan at March 25, 2003 01:25 PM
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