in retrospect

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November 22, 2003

bad dream

i had a terrible dream last night. one of those twisted dark terrifying that stay with you for days dreams.

i was following a friend in my car, winding through a canyon and down a street that i'd been down before in a dream a few months ago. i was looking at the houses remembering the people i knew that lived in them, wondering what they were doing. it was the dim dark of dusk or dawn, probably dawn, so i wasn't paying much attention to my friend's car in front of me.

the car parked in a driveway and shut off its lights and i pulled up beside it. but as i turned and looked at the car, it definitely wasn't my friend's car, same color but different make. i squinted inside the cab to see the couple that seemed to be sitting waiting for something, just staring straight ahead at the garage door.

then in unison they slowy turned to look at me and i was startled by the blank coldness of their expressions and the ghastly whiteness of their skin. as i put the car in reverse to turn around out of the driveway and they both quickly opened their doors and slid out of their car.

just as i swung the car back into the gravel to the side of the driveway to drive away the woman came up walking smooth and fast, floating almost, past the driver's side window of my car, and the man came up the passenger side and collapsed on the ground. i looked back at the woman who seemed to be walking dead with blue lips staring at me blank slow and steady. i locked the doors.

i looked back at the guy on the ground who was almost as pale as her, but not yet dead and covered with open sores like something had been taking chunks of his skin over a long period of time.

i thought to myself that i should really go over and help him, what kind of person am i that i could just let him lie there and die? so i opened my door and just as i stepped around it, he jumped up and was suddenly standing next to me. he reached in his coat pocket and pulled out a cell phone. one of those brick beige cell phones from the mid-eighties and cocked his arm back clearly about to brain me with it.

i stepped into him (like my martial arts friend advised me once a long time ago when i moved to soma) and the blow glanced off the back of my head right behind my ear. i couldn't move for a second and he put his head down and undid his big brass buckle belt and as he whipped it throught his belt loops, i could suddenly move and pushed both my hands through the hair on the top of his head. i gripped bushy handfuls of hair and started yelling for help as i brought the bridge of his nose down fast and hard on my knee.

i looked over to my left and spotted a couple calmly mowing their front lawn and trimming their hedges about 15 yeards away. they slowly looked up when they heard my yells, and appeared perplexed at what the hell was wrong with me. they kept looking at me for a minute, shrugged their shoulders, unable to figure out what all the yelling was about and went right back to their business.

i brought the guy's face crashing down hard on my knee again and then pushed him back planting my right foot right in the center of his chest sending him flying back into the gravel next to the car.

i stepped around the door to get into the car as he started to get up, i slammed my car door out and into him sending him back onto the gravel, and jumped back into my car. i slammed the doors shut and locked the doors as they came up both on either side of the car slapping their hands wet with blood against my windows as i spun my wheels in the gravel.

before i could drive away i was wakened by a large bang in the house and heavy breathing. i panicked for a moment lying quietly on my belly listening to the house. then i realized it was just the wind breathing through the screens of my open windows and the cats had knocked over a plant in the living room. which was a heavy relief.

however, i believe that everything's connected (waking and dreaming life for example)so i've been bothered by this dream all day, wondering if it was just an indication of some unresoved rage or fear, or if it's indicative of what i'm struggling with right now (which isn't that much so that doesn't make sense) or what i've struggled with in the past maybe?

i dunno, but i'm still really freaked out by it. well, i'm a little impressed with my kicking-ass abilities.

Posted by heidijanet at November 22, 2003 01:06 PM

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Comments

What a vivid dream. Your description of it kind of gave me chills just reading it.

Gotta wonder what mix of conscious and subconscious brought that on, eh?

Posted by: Ryan at November 28, 2003 08:59 AM

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