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February 27, 2004
bet you didn't know...
i received this from a friend...and decided that instead of spamming my friends, i'd post it here. kind of like a friday five. except, there are more than five questions.
obviously.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS? freaks me out.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSEPAD: my hand
FAVORITE SMELLS: rain and the skin of the person i love (or like a LOT)
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: disappointment
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: anticipation
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: requiem for a dream
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? what am i doing with my life?
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS: never
ROLLER COASTERS - SCARY OR EXCITING: exciting
PEN OR PENCIL: #4 pencil
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE: hm. depends. i screen.
FAVORITE FOOD: tie between french/japanese
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: chocolate
FAVORITE ICE CREAM: haagen daaz vanilla (with fresh strawberries)
ANIMALS: spider monkey
STORMS - COOL OR SCARY: cool.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: 1978 datsun b210 with honeycomb hubcaps
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE: dorothy parker
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: dirty martini - grey goose, straight up, 3 olives
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN: Leo
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET: ee cummings
GUYS - IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT:
GIRLS - WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT: absolutely. then i'd ask for his pants.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE: writer.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE: uh. i can dye it any color and i do. so the color it is right now.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: absolutely.
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM: series of storyboards from an animated short i worked on with a friend, a charcoal sketch (a heidi wright orginal), a jackson collins painting i bought on venice beach, a few paintings of mine and a concert poster from clapton's 2001 "farewell" concert.
IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY: uhh. yes.
IF YOU COULD BE A GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE: a garden ho. i mean hoe. *snicker*
WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED: boxes with my off season clothes. and books that won't fit on my bookshelf.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: 13 and 3
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? 1963 split-window corvette
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: tournament pool
Posted by heidijanet at 05:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
it's MAGIC!
a co-worker of mine has a magic 8 ball on her desk, and from day one i've developed the nasty habit of stopping into her office and giving it a good shake with a very serious question. statistically, it's wrong more than it's right, but i still find myself drawn to the damn thing like my freewill astrology horoscope.
i usually ask it personal questions, and lately it's been offering up the infuriating reply that the answer is unclear, or that i should concentrate and ask later. i have limited patience with such indecisiveness, so i immediately shake it again until the light blue fluid inside is frothy with anticipation. and in what i'm certain is resentment for such harsh treatment, it spits back that i should not count on it.
this vexed me, so i found an online magic 8 ball, but apparently they're all part of one pervasive hive mind and this one does the same damn thing.
so i've decided that i need a new tool for inaccurately predicting my future. thanks in advance.
Posted by heidijanet at 02:56 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 25, 2004
well here's my interpretation
some poor soul found my site googling "interpretation waking up to pajamas on backwards". which i think is pretty hilarious.
so here's my interpretation:
assuming you went to bed with your pajamas on correctly and in the morning found yourself with your pajamas on backwards i suspect that either 1) you sleep like a stone and have a cruel roommate or significant other that you may want to consider having a chat with or; 2) you are exhibiting signs of a person who is experiencing a severe emotional regression in your bedroom and should seek professional help; or 3) your subconscious is telling you that pajamas are not for you and you should try sleeping sans pajamas and see what ends up backward in the morning.
on my end, i will do some soul-searching out of concern that i rank pretty high on google for having one's pajamas inexplicably on backwards upon waking while simultaneously holding the top spot for googling "naughty evidence locker".
Posted by heidijanet at 12:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 23, 2004
out of touch
a good [male] friend of mine once advised me that i needed to get in touch with... my feminine side. other friends, who don't really know me that well, tend to be surprised by this observation...but this advice was timely and well-advised.
even as a very small child, my best friends were the boys. i always had trouble making girlfriends. i have a raunchy sense of humor, the baudier the joke, the better. i spent my childhood as a noisy, rambunctious child who scurried up trees, played in the mud, had an odd fashion sense with a die-hard penchant for attempting to beat every one--especially the boys--at any competition.
in college i drove a 1972 red bronco often packed to the gunrack with boys from the neighboring dorm and would venture high into the rockies for upside-down marguaritas off the tailgate, followed by four-wheeling antics with gut-wrenching, shock-snapping results.
my idea of camping is a sleeping bag and a sharp knife. one of my favorite pasttimes is bass-fishing with a bud light between my knees, and i can clean a fish in a couple minutes flat without breaking a sweat. i've been known to clear a pool table (on a good night) after slinging back four shots of basil hayden with six guys on the tail end of an excessive bar hop. my favorite books have been penned at the hands of kerouac, bukowski and burroughs, in sharp contrast to bronte or bushnell (although wurtzel is admittedly a favorite). my career mentors have been former investment bankers and ad execs whose best advice has been to suck it up, learn to piss in the tall weeds with the big dogs and not get my panties in a bunch when a deal went sideways.
needless to say, when i hit my late-twenties, with two male roommates, three male employees, a male business partner and complete lack of women that i could call up and indulge in girl-talk with, i made a vow to make more female friends.
having good girlfriends is essential, they are willing to discuss an issue ad nauseum until you feel that you've been really heard, instead of having an issue "fixed" by a male friend. you can laugh, relax, talk about men and sex with a frankness not advised among men for fear of either giving them the wrong idea, or striking fear into their heart. you can relish in frivolities like the new kate spade bag or your new hairdresser with a knowing look, instead of a blank stare. and if you're feeling really pre-menstrual bitchy, you can announce it with no fear that it will be held against you later. not to mention it's a health risk to not have good girlfriends.
unfortunately, the subtle dynamics between women are often lost on me. i've never been one of those girls could be described as subtle. generally, if i think something i'll say it--not to be brash, but if there's one thing i know about myself, it's that i have a very expressive face and few social filters, so trying to be subtle is pointless. if i want something, i go for it with a tenacity that startles most women i know. and if something is bothering me, i'll likely tell you to your face.
so i intentionally choose female friends that are tough and sassy that won't put up with any bullshit -- because i know that when i get on my sassy horse or put on my bossy face they have the balls to tell me to go pound sand.
but i struggle with the intricate nuances and politics of female relationships, because i'm just not wired that way. in a recent exchange with a roommate about some things that have been weighing on me with my girlfriends lately, she widened her eyes with the realization, "i am really surprised at how much you are reacting to this like a guy would." well, yeah. that's my nature.
so i wonder, what do you do when the thing you want to overcome, is a thing that's simply against your nature?
it's a conundrum that plagues me.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:31 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 20, 2004
banging my drum
i knew i was on to something with my deep-seated desire to play the drums!
now i understand it's good for me too!!
i wonder if the benefits will outweigh the inevitable rockstar lifestyle...?
i'm certain they will.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 18, 2004
bad idea
overheard:
q: how does a person survive?
a: with experience
q: what kind of experience?
a: making good decisions.
q: how do you know if they are good decisions?
a: bad decisions.
there was one thing that i desperately wanted to know. what do you do when you know what the good decision is...but for some damned reason...you make the bad decision. over. and over.
i'm having one of those days. again.
Posted by heidijanet at 01:18 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
February 17, 2004
three whole dayzzz
i had a three-day weekend, because amgen takes every single holiday off. it's kind of ironic. i'm working at an hourly rate, which means that for the first time in over a decade, i qualify for overtime. so i finally get paid for my god-awful workaholic nature...and every other friggin' week i have to take a day off...essentially cancelling out the overtime pay.
at any rate i took full advantage of my weekend by NOT sleeping at all on saturday, and sleeping all day sunday.
monday i played pool.
all very productive.
Posted by heidijanet at 05:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 14, 2004
dim recollection
recently i've developed a pattern of waking up in the dim dark of my room in the wee hours of the morning with palpable awareness that my life is finite. that at some point, i will die.
i've raised this with friends, over dinner or coffee, and the pat response is that this...is morbid. subject changed.
but in the wee hours of the morning, it isn't morbid. quite the opposite. it is as if my well-rested mind is sending up a flare of warning. and it's smart enough to catch my attention before i become preoccupied with being late for work, did i pick up the drycleaning, what should i wear today and oh, did i get approval for that artwork before it went to print?
in the dim light of pre-morning, blinking at the clock that reads 5:03am, i am painfully aware of time passing in a seemingly infinite present of sameness. in sharp contradiction to the cram-packedness of distractions, and their illusion of purpose.
and this weighs on me.
Posted by heidijanet at 09:23 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
February 13, 2004
six words
just six words, and i'm depressed. it's kind of amazing...
"...by whom liability is expressly denied..."
for me, those are the six most miserable words in the universe. at least so far.
Posted by heidijanet at 02:31 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 11, 2004
artsy fartsy
my roommate val is an artist, a painter to be more specific. she doesn't do it full-time, she's a director at STAR that and develops curriculums for charter schools, but it's definitely a passion.
she tries to sell her stuff at festivals, online, she shows her work in coffee shops and restaurants and puts on a live painting show at a restaurant on the Universal City Walk every saturday.
this weekend, she had a nice little opening for her work at abbot's habit in Venice. it was a great turnout and a wonderful vibe. take a look at some of the photos over here.
and if you want to see some of her work, take a look over here!
the only bummer with her showing her work is that the walls in our apartment are stipped bare for a few months. sigh.
Posted by heidijanet at 09:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 10, 2004
it's quirky to be single?
during my morning commute last week, one of the top editorial stories for the morning news was announced, "is it possible to be single and happy? one happily single woman calls this idea, being a 'quirky single'..."
this disturbs me. not that someone can be single and happy, but that it has been coined as quirky.
as a single, professional woman in her early thirties, i have found myself surrounded by women, and some men, that are fixated on meeting someone that will make them happy. for the rest of their life. this idea frightens me a little. but what frightens me more is that so many people perceive "happy" and "single" as mutually exclusive ideas. which annoys me to no end.
now, don't get me wrong, i'd love to meet someone that i enjoy spending time with. if that enjoyment happened to last a lifetime, all the better.
but i seem to be surrounded by people who seem to have taken on a second job devoted to finding their perfect, lifelong partner. endless hours spent researching cosmo, preening, grooming and strategizing for how to draw this one person out of the faceless crowds. lately, every conversation seems to be dominated by finding that one person to complete us and make us whole.
behavior is analyzed and over-analyzed ad naseum. wracking brains about what this or that really means. a 300-pound yoke of expectation is hung around the neck of every first date, dalliance or interlude. ultimatums are given, rigid interpretations and compatability lists are made. it's fucking exhausting.
i'm not suggesting that i don't fall victim to some of these overanalyzations and obsessions from time to time, i do. it's part of the fun. but, i'm not trying to triangulate the position of that one person to determine whether or not they are a suitable for a lifelong attachment--i'm beginning to suspect that some people just aren't well-suited to that. what i take issue with is the prevailing notion that we are not, and never will be, completely whole until a mate is found.
i cling to the idea that if i am happy with where i am right now, and become comfortable in my own skin, only then would i be able to or even interested in sharing a bit of that with someone else.
what i want to understand better is why so many of us hang our hopes for happiness and fulfillment around the necks of other people that are, in effect, doing the exact same thing. do two unhappy, incomplete and dysfunctional people make one happy, fulfilled whole?
i suspect not. and i suspect that we are asking too much of other people and not enough of ourselves.
and the idea that choosing to be happy and single can be described as "quirky" is just one more indication that as a culture we have wholly unrealistic expectations surrounding coupledom.
which of course, might explain why 50% of men and over 40% of women cheat on their spouses. it also might explain why half of all marraiges end in divorce.
so why do we cling to these romantic ideals of marraige? and how is it that being voluntarily single and happy is something quirky?
i wonder.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:30 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
February 06, 2004
er, i guess they mean me
uh, apparently knitting's the new fad for young, urban americans.
who could have predicted that? or better yet, that i'd be one of those young, urbanites?
Posted by heidijanet at 04:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
fab prefab
i've become a woman obsessed. scrolling through metafilter yesterday, i stumbled across a link to fabprefab.com, and was intrigued. i'd just read an article in wallpaper about the future of low-cost home design. now prefabricated homes are not a new idea, but looking through some of these amazing new modern designs i'm fascinated.
imagine. buy a lot of land in the desert, which is only about an hour or so east of los angeles for $18,000. buy the new LV home kit for $30,000. then again about $50,000 to erect it, with some help from my father to wire and plumb etc. AND, they only take about 7-10 days to erect.
i could be into a wonderful new home for less than a $100K!
i'm going to start saving today.
Posted by heidijanet at 12:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 05, 2004
birthday party
had a little birthday shindig for michelle down at the buffalo club in santa monica. many drinks, great wine, more people than we could fit at the table--i heard at some point that evening the girls were harassing the bartenders, threatening to sign their names in the fogged up windows er...with their breasts...then something about eighteen inches? so maybe harassment isn't the exactly the right word.
at any rate, happy birthday michelle!
Posted by heidijanet at 10:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 02, 2004
sister spawn update
i've made it back from salt lake in one piece. after a long weekend serving as the family's drop-shipped, ad hoc cleaning lady, personal shopper, driver, family crises mediator and babysitter -- i have to admit, it's nice to be home where i can have a stiff drink at the end of the day, kick my feet up on the table and not think about whether or not we're going to kill the new baby with poorly planned feeding times, medications or cold drafts. oh, and get back in the habit of DAILY showers.
but i had a wonderful time with my sisters and my TWO, count 'em two, nieces. for the photoraphic documentation...click here.
Posted by heidijanet at 05:15 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack