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August 16, 2004
rejection service
now this [courtesy of metafilter] just burns my ass. rejecting someone is hard on everyone involved, but the whole third-party rejection services that have made it oh so much easier to be assholes has planted me back on my sassy horse.
a while back i was in a bar in san francisco with some girlfriends, and a guy approached me, chatted me and my girls up for a few minutes, then asked for my number. i paused for a minute, you know the whole deer-in-headlights thing that happens when you don't want to be rude, but you're also not interested? in that moment my girlfriend reached over and gave him "my number" on a napkin, one of those horrible rejection numbers that verbally and emotionally abuse and belittle the person's attempt at finding a little companionship.
i tried to laugh it off when i realized what she'd done, but felt seriously awful and dirty for deliberately hurting the guy. because having that number handed to you after showing an interest in getting to know someone better, would truly suck.
the part of this service that adds insult to injury, is passing off the rejection as a "growing experience".
you know what is a growing experience? when you are approached by someone who thinks you are interesting/attractive/nice enough to want your number/email and you show them the respect of politely thanking them, then gently let them know you just aren't interested.
it's honest, takes a bit of courage to face the hurt/anger/whatever--but it's better than destroying someone's feelings and/or self-confidence because you don't have the balls (or ovaries, as the case may be) to be honest.
i think that as penance anyone who has ever used this service in response to such interest, should be forced to go out and solicit no less than 20 phone numbers from strangers they find attractive.
i'll go first.
Posted by heidijanet at August 16, 2004 02:23 PM
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