February 25, 2007
handcuffed to you hugh
yet another use for handcuffs i hadn't thought of:
clever girl.
Posted by heidijanet at 04:19 PM | Comments (0)
April 25, 2006
wait a minute...
does this mean that if i'd eaten better, things could have turned out differently for me?
if only i'd have known!
Posted by heidijanet at 12:27 PM | Comments (1)
February 02, 2006
four things
i've been tagged by judi to present my rendition of four things, and since i can refuse her nothing, here i go:
Four jobs I've had:
1. pulling chairs on the slopes of Snowbird (aka liftie scum)
2. setting records on a daily basis for how many plates loaded with slabs of red meat can be shuttled from the kitchen at Lone Star
3. live-in nanny for two small children and a full-grown woman
4. welding shop
Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. the godfather (highly recommended in the theatre)
2. the misfits
3. who's afraid of virginia wolf?
4. the notebook *blush* (yes, i'm embarassed for me too)
Four places I've lived:
1. san francisco, california
2. greenwich, connecticut
3. fort collins, colorado
4. salt lake city, utah
Four TV shows I love:
1. six feet under (RIP)
2. grey's anatomy
3. forensic files
4. america undercover
Four highly regarded and recommended TV shows that I've never watched a single minute of:
1. survivor
2. the bachelor
3. the oc
4. fear factor
Four places I've vacationed:
1. acapulco, mexico
2. vail, colorado
3. savannah, georgia
4. napa, california
Four of my favorite dishes:
1. marinated venison with spaetzle and red cabbage at suppenkuche in cole valley, san francisco
2. croque monsieur at cafe claude on claude ln. in san francisco
3. carpaccio at the steps of rome on columbus (again san francisco)
3. sloppy, greasy pepperoni pizza tossed by a sweaty, italian man in a wife beater and an apron on a hot july afternoon on fire island, new york
Four sites I visit daily:
1. electrolicious
2. defective yeti
3. salon
4. metafilter
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. in bed
2. in a tent
3. on a sailboat
4. city lights bookstore
Tag Four other bloggers:
1. ariel
2. martin
3. mimi smartypants
4. uhhhh...running short on bloggers that haven't already been tagged.
Posted by heidijanet at 03:10 PM | Comments (0)
January 25, 2006
plant-watering rage
last year after having my desk watered repeatedly by the plant care professionals at the office, i taped up a couple of signs asking that they take care not to water my paperwork.
of course thinking i was horribly clever, i translated the message into four languages, you know...just in cases.
well, apparently after lookingat the damn signs for 12 months the plant waterer finally snapped.
Posted by heidijanet at 01:38 PM | Comments (0)
December 29, 2005
wow.
there is a often a very fine line between taking a brilliant risk for an admirable cause and outright stupidity.
i'm torn between the two on this one.
if i were his teacher i might be a little impressed, if i were his mother i would want to kill him.
Posted by heidijanet at 05:26 PM | Comments (0)
December 21, 2005
standard fare
this morning i walked over to the company coffee counter with a co-worker, and after a long night of pre-holiday gathering with friends and a little advance christmas libation i needed good standard, breakfast fare.
"i'll have medium coffee with a shot of espresso and a glazed doughnut."
my co-worker gasped challenging my request, "are you serious?"
as everyone hubbubbed around me ordering half-caf, half-skim mocha soy lattes and high-protein, wheat grass power blended smoothies i did feel a bit like a renegade.
which immediately seems pretty ridiculous over coffee and a doughnut.
but i enjoyed it very much.
Posted by heidijanet at 09:08 AM | Comments (1)
November 14, 2005
uncompromising
i just had a long and wonderful conversation with my mother. i've been struggling a bit, with my work with my personal life etc. i've kept silent for the last several months, not posting, not calling my friends back (sorry), not socializing, kind of preserving my privacy and treasuring the introspection that comes along with some well-deserved isolation.
i've intentionally remained single for the last few years, cultivating close relationships with girlfriends, preserving my energy for people that i connect with, since i have precious little energy left at the end of my day.
it's gotten to the point that the people that love me most have becomed concerned about my absence. (thank you for your concern, truly)
yet it's so fantastic to have a conversation with my mother, who despite our differences--knows me best of all--and receive a bit of encouragment and validation that there are times when focusing on work or youself is just simply necessary.
so in the midst of my sudden concern that things will remain this way. that when i feel the need to adjust or compromise to alleviate my sense of lonlieness, accompanied by a complete unwillingness to do so while my friends (with the best of intentions) advise me to tone it down, soften it up, compromise and "get myself out there"...my mother replies, "oh, don't be ridiculous. you know who you are. it's when you start to compromise you get yourself into serious trouble."
then i go on to explain that someone that i've recently been involved with described me as indimidating and a bit overwhelming, so maybe i should tone it down...
my mother replies, "oh they're all weak babies. if you need to tone it down then they just don't appreciate who you are."
of course this is the same woman who advised me that love was a crapshoot.
Posted by heidijanet at 10:07 PM | Comments (0)
August 12, 2005
oxymoron
i totally need this shirt.
must have staple for la. if only for the beautiful, if momentary, confusion.
Posted by heidijanet at 08:39 PM | Comments (0)
July 25, 2005
crapshoot love
chatting with my mother about the impending departure of my roommate, i brought up that i'm hunting for a new roommate even though i'm pretty much over the roommate situation. the ensuing conversation is just one small indicator explaining my cautious optimism regarding love:
M: "do you really have to get a roommate?"
m: "yeah, i can almost afford it but not quite yet"
M: "well you could always get married..."
m: *pausing for a moment*
m: "mother i can't even get a date, i don't even think about married."
M: "eh, just order one. it's all a crapshoot anyway."
yup. this is the woman who raised me. explains more than a few things i'd guess.
Posted by heidijanet at 07:50 PM | Comments (0)
July 06, 2005
there's a finish line?
...if so, it's MUCH farther than i thought.
Posted by heidijanet at 12:53 PM | Comments (0)
April 01, 2005
tip #87
i met my girlfriend lynn out for an apres work cocktail at a new local haunt, the other room on abbot kinney. we spent the better part of the evening huddled in the corner digging through some desperately needed girl-talk. we even had a pizza delivered (they don't serve food there and are very accommodating to the locals).
i had joked around with her earlier about how it's impossible for me to get a date in this town, but quickly admitted that this is more often than not a direct result of how difficult i make it for those who decide to approach me.
i soon had the opportunity to demonstrate this as a guy approached and asked me for my number.
after a small pause, i looked up and asked, "well, what is your name?"
"oh right," he grinned, "my name is steve."
we shook hands and i asked him where he was from. some small chitchat ensued, including a lame joke i didn't get. he became more nervous, shifting from foot to foot, "so, can i get your number?"
he pulled out his blackberry in anticipation.
appparently i leaned in for attack (as lynn informed me later).
"would you like to know my name?" i asked, smirking eyebrow raised.
"oh...um...er. yes. what is your name?"
advice to the brave, if you would like to a girl's number, have the foresight to at least ask for her name first.
Posted by heidijanet at 10:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
March 23, 2005
snooze
i totally need this.
the snooze button is the bane of my existence.
Posted by heidijanet at 06:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 18, 2005
complimentary harassment
walking to my car in santa monica, i passed a man sitting in a stoop. i smiled good evening to him and as i passed he suddenly erupted, "ah yeah, BUTTERFLY!"
this kind of made me smile.
Posted by heidijanet at 07:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 17, 2005
good fortune...in bed
i love it when i get a good fortune cookie fortune. today's:
"YOUR ENTHUSIASM INSPIRES PEOPLE"
which was fantastic.
until a friend said, "inspires people to do what?"
i furrowed my brow (for the second time this week) and replied, "uh...inspires people....in bed!"
Posted by heidijanet at 04:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 07, 2005
close...but no erm, cigar
well not quite a googlewhack, but apparently this site is the single solitary result for animated raindrop floaties.
huh.
Posted by heidijanet at 07:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
what day?
some conversations put a fine point on things unexpectedly:
me: like my new soft robe?
val: ooh!
me: it was on sale! everything in this town seems to be 75% off!
val: well, there's a very small window of time when men shop.
me: *perplexed look*
val: valentine's day?
me: oh, right.
me: *pause*
me: clearly that day has completely slipped off my radar.
Posted by heidijanet at 07:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 31, 2005
i'm shocked. truly.
Yahoo! News - Texas Teens Increased Sex After Abstinence Program
see now there's money well spent.
Posted by heidijanet at 07:19 PM | TrackBack
December 22, 2004
second stanza
142 emails
55 pending action items
42 images to cleanup
12 presentations to update
6 co-worker feedback reports
1 self-assessment
1 expense report
1 failed hard drive
0 days left in the office
...and a parTRIDGE in a pear tree.
*whimper*
Posted by heidijanet at 01:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 21, 2004
singalong
123 emails
47 pending action items
8 voicemails requiring action
7 1-hour meetings
6 co-worker feedback reports
1 self-assessment
1 expense report
1 day left in the office
...and a parTRIDGE in a pear tree.
merry xmas.
*sigh*
Posted by heidijanet at 03:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
December 13, 2004
wringing time
i enjoy my work. i really do.
but i must admit, this time of year when i'm putting in 12-15 hour days, i find myself staying up as late as possible. so instead of crawling into bed nice and early so i can get up at the crack of dawn, rested and ready to charge into the next day...
i find myself wringing a couple more hours out of the evening...just to put a little more space between today and tomorrow.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
one-woman rebellion
personally protesting the national epidemic of carbohydrate restriction, i just finished an enormous meal of pasta, sourdough bread and sierra nevada pale ale in one sitting.
i believe in some neighborhoods in los angeles, that may just be a punishable offense.
the empowerment is thrilling.
Posted by heidijanet at 12:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 30, 2004
preemptive measures
oh this is a fabulous idea!
think of all the trouble this kind of service could intercept! even more useful than a predictably ineffective warning label.
sign me up.
Posted by heidijanet at 08:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 29, 2004
thinner
it's a freezing 63 degrees in los angeles today and windy.
standing outside in my wool skirt, scarf, cardigan and jacket, it's as dry as a bone and i'm feeling as frozen as i once did on the slopes of little cottonwood canyon in february.
good lord my blood has thinned here in the southland. i'm slightly embarassed at my weenie-ness.
Posted by heidijanet at 03:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 19, 2004
overstatement
i just mentally complimented myself for having the foresight to pick up a chocolate bar for my post-take out mexican food sweets fix.
then gently reprimanded myself for lowering the culinary bar just a little too far.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
jailbait
oh my god, if i lived in bay city, michigan i would have racked up a few consecutive life sentences on this one...
Posted by heidijanet at 04:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 18, 2004
life's little questions
post-it note stuck on my monitor yesterday by a friend/co-worker:
"remind me why we aren't independently wealthy and traveling the world..."
good question...
Posted by heidijanet at 12:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 10, 2004
ring around a story
today a friend complimented me my garnet ring. i replied by launching into a lengthy little story about how it was a man's ring that belonged to my great-grandmother's high school sweetheart in austria...did they have high schools in 19th century austria?...anyway whatever the equivalent would be...and she had it resized to fit her hand.
then she married someone else, moved to america and had a bunch of kids.
but then, the high school sweetheart came to america, found her in the dakotas and they ran off to california.
my friend blinked a few times, and remarked, "well, now that's a ring with a story."
thinking back...perhaps that was a bit more information than he was looking for.
Posted by heidijanet at 09:06 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 16, 2004
plane observations
i've been on the road quite a bit recently. seattle, chicago, san francisco, vegas. coming up san antonio, vegas, phoenix, vegas.
i don't mind the travel, it's a nice way to break up the days/weeks. but i do get tired of living out of a suitcase. and i'm really starting to dislike airports. the process of getting on a plane has just become so tedious.
i'm that traveler that is forced to use 4 bins and a bowl to get through the xray machine. i've learned to pull off my shoes, unwind my scarf, pull 2 laptops out of my carry on and drop my watch and bracelet into the bowl with smooth efficiency. so you'd think that a girl like me would know to think ahead.
on my last pass through the vegas xray machine. i was similarly equipped, however i was wearing a thin white t-shirt (read: sheer) under my denim jacket, which um...well let's just say i wasn't thinking ahead all the way to the airport.
as i approached the xray technician, he politely requested that i remove my jacket. i replied that he really didn't want me to do that. he assured me that oh yes, he certainly did.
my co-worker just about collapsed in fits of laughter as i unzipped my "jacket", tossed it on the belt, and shimmied through the xray machine in my heels, skirt and see-through top. and not much, um else.
i figured if you find yourself indecently exposed there's no point in trying to be inconspicuous.
*shaking head*
Posted by heidijanet at 04:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 14, 2004
125 pound weakling
i have a new japanese teapot, so i've been making an effort to use it more. i have loose green tea i picked up at a japanese market in a chrome canister with a latch.
but it'd been so long since i opened it, i couldn't pry the damn thing open. as i grunted, whined and pulled at the lid my roommate walked in the kitchen. i whine at her, "i caaaan't OPEN this!"
she takes it out of my hand, and pops the top right off. "how did you DO that?" i ask.
"strong like bull."
HA! if i lived alone i'm fairly certain i'd starve to death.
Posted by heidijanet at 08:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 29, 2004
lime juice? pie? key lime pie?
i pulled a "juice squeeze" out of the fridge of a co-worker, opened the top...and it tastes like pie! before i get the juice content lecture (i won't name names)it is 70% actual juice...but there are floaties in it. maybe that's crust?
i thought it would taste like juice. who wants a drink that tastes like pie?
not sure i like it. makes me want some pie.
Posted by heidijanet at 02:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 20, 2004
monday top ten checklist
1. slept through alarm. [check!]
2. ran out of toothpaste. [check!]
3. pulled on my top not realizing that it had spots on it. until i was halfway to work. [check!]
4. almost ran out of gas in malibu canyon. [check!]
5. found my framed illustration of "moki and her space pussy teako" had fallen off the wall and broken. [check!]
6. forgot portable ipod speakers, relegating me to my desk in silence sans the almighty joshua playlist. [check!]
7. request for printouts for big presentation today got lost in the shuffle leaving me handoutless for my meeting. [check!]
8. found hair in salad during meeting nearly returning my lunch to the plate in an indelicate manner. [check!]
9. momentarily forgot my place in a meeting. with my boss. [check!]
10. realized that i forgot to deposit a big check, and racked up enough overdraft fees to practically cover my car payment. [check!]
one bright spot? finding a belated birthday present on my chair with "bad girl" post its from a co-worker inside. thank you for reading my mind.
happy monday. *grumble*
Posted by heidijanet at 05:19 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
September 14, 2004
i require supervision
i just spent the weekend eating fabulous food prepared by local, and less than local foodie friends. i had pasta, tofu breakfast burritos, tapas at axe--although i _did_ down a couple orders of onion rings at the whaler last night--however besides that i've been eating fabulously.
this morning i left the house with a tofu veggie feta burrito [thoughtfully prepared by a weekend guest]accompanied by a sun-dried tomato tortilla.
so then what happens to my intake when left to my own devices? since 7am this morning i've logged the following:
- large coffee with cream and sugar. lots of it.
- zone bar, which is essentially a candy bar disguised as a healthy protein snack with clever packaging and a slightly misleading position in the supermarket.
- 12 oz can of diet coke
- three mini-butterfingers
- ice cream with m&m's
- large double latte
- a twinkie
i think i need to lie down. blech.
**update** add goldfish to the list. *sigh*
Posted by heidijanet at 04:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 09, 2004
we're having some weather
11 o'clock news in los angeles.
and the top story of the evening? it's hot, humid and raining. there have been eight weather-related accidents over just three hours. forget hurricane ivan--it's balmy and raining in los angeles!
i'm more than a little embarrassed that i am beginning relate to this state of mind. when i first moved to la, i used to laugh and point at angeleans that panicked at the first sign of moisture then subsequently lost their ability to safely navigate the roadways.
but i've been in los angeles for a couple of years now. and i have to admit that not too long ago i was driving along on the freeway, and some foreign "object" splatted against my windshield. startled, i gasped, looked around and then up to the sky thinking to myself, "what in the sam hell was that?"
erm, it was a raindrop.
it doesn't take long my friends. not long at all.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 07, 2004
countdown
after careful inspection, i noticed that this bottle of water expires in 1002 years.
thank god this was brought to my attention. you know before i put it in with my "just in case i live to be 1,035 years old" survival stash in the bomb shelter.
Posted by heidijanet at 03:30 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
September 01, 2004
accidental martha stewart
i've accidentally discovered a new way to serve vodka at my next dinner party!
make your own:
step 1: leave freezer slightly open after you mix that third round of vodka drinks partially melting the ice in your ice bin. and everything else as well, but no one actually eats what's in the freezer. am i right?
step 2: carelessly toss the aforementioned bottle of vodka into the bin, because your freezer is too jampacked with chilling beer glasses, mochi ice cream, coffee beans and 2 year old bags of frozen vegetables to stand it up properly--not to mention that fourth cocktail left you in no shape to reorganize the freezer.
step 3: close freezer to refreeze contents.
step 4: the next time you want to mix a drink, preferably when you have completely forgotten about melting everything in the freezer. realize the bottle is frozen in place, pull the ice bin out of the freezer, proceed to vigorously banging the damn thing on the counter and eventually the linoleum to dislodge the vodka. (be careful not to shatter bottle)
and voilà! you have a fantastic new way to display the vodka at your next dinner party.
who cares if you have to keep your home at a sub-zero temperature while serving? just encourage your guests to drink very fast. great for dates! (preferably cheap ones)
tip for next week:
wow your friends! prepare a fantastic meal using only the ingredients irreversibly stuck together in your freezer.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 26, 2004
extreme recycling
walking out of the ladies room this afternoon, a watched a co-worker casually enter a stall, taking a large blue recycling bin in there with her.
i wonder what that was all about?
Posted by heidijanet at 05:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 24, 2004
vice intervention
i made it to the gym this morning with my friend and co-worker, daniela. she's an excellent influence on me--whom she affectionally describes as a walking vice.
so this walking vice desperately needed her infusion of coffee and sugar after the grueling 5:45am class. standing at the starbucks counter, i spotted a fabulous brown sugar-covered, crunchy-topped blueberry muffin.
so i get to my desk, and open my paper bag and find an undersized, sugar-free lowfat blueberry muffin.
dammit! i understand i may appear to be one of those women who is nonfat, no dairy, no carbs, sugar-free aberrations--but this is just simply not the case.
i personally believe that, along with fat-free ice cream, the damn things should be banned.
what frigging disappointing way to start the day.
Posted by heidijanet at 10:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 23, 2004
uh. i'm speechless
i'm simply shocked that these getups are on sale. particularly the child long pimp daddy suit .
[courtesy of metafilter]
Posted by heidijanet at 11:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
not big enough
so apparently i'm not heavy enough in my mini to trigger the traffic light change.
i sat at the light at PCH and malibu canyon, while it changed no less than THREE TIMES...i didn't get a green light until a gas guzzling road-hogging SUV pulled up next to me and triggered the light to change for me.
*grumble*
Posted by heidijanet at 09:53 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 16, 2004
handshake injury
some guy grabbed my hand mid-introduction yesterday and shook it so friggin' hard i'm bruised.
since i'm in advice mode today, here's tip #2 for the day:
check out if a woman is wearing rings prior to shaking her hand--she will not associate your grip with your prowess if you've injured her.
jesus man.
and yes, i would like that soapbox for christmas. thank you for asking.
Posted by heidijanet at 03:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 12, 2004
vacation
i'm beginning to realize that one of the reasons that i've done fairly well in my career, is that i've almost never taken a vacation.
after just 4 days in the woods i am finding myself listless to the point of distraction. i just spent about 5 minutes over here playing with the multi-colored paws dangling off my cursor, following an attempt to discover the origin of the deformed cat [courtesy of metafilter].
now i have to go help run a fundraising event for the national MS challenge walk i'm participating in come september. my friend michelle and i are trying to meet our pledge goal...but i just don't know if i have it in me.
i may just go toss my tent in the back of the car and camp out in malibu canyon until this passes. anyone want to come along?
Posted by heidijanet at 04:03 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
August 10, 2004
lizard on the loose!
back in the office, i walked around the corner, and ran into a woman frozen in place, fixated on the carpet. so i walked over, curious, and she pointed out a tiny baby lizard also frozen in place. clearly she was too frightened of the diminutive reptile to rescue it before it got squished under someone's careless heel.
so i plopped down, picked the poor thing up to deliver it to the bushes outside where it will be free roam for the rest of its days. or at least until something bigger eats it.
but not before i retained photographic evidence of the face that spurred momentary fear and panic in the office. quick! run! nature has invaded our space!
Posted by heidijanet at 10:14 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 20, 2004
twisted logic
"i want to be the peace president." well, obviously.
er, and i suppose arguing that the "enemy" declared war on us...without specifying the enemy he's referencing...keeps this from being a bold-faced lie?
and just for the record, am i the only one that finds it ludicrous that Bush/Cheney are attempting to convince us they are the "pro-small business team" over Kerry/Edwards?
i suppose if they were able to convince a majority of americans that invading and occupying iraq was justified post-9/11 WITHOUT the support of the U.N., then we'll buy anything.
Posted by heidijanet at 02:48 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
June 28, 2004
testing 1, 2, 3
i'm testing the features of my weblog. i this quickpost feature is handy.
now if i could just figure out how to post from my cell...
Posted by heidijanet at 10:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 02, 2004
more quickie astrology
Quickie Leo Horoscope: Drowning is for people who don't know how to swim, but you're a seasoned champ.
er...which? i'm a seasoned champ at swimming? or drowning?
Posted by heidijanet at 06:13 PM | Comments (0)
May 04, 2004
driven
i've been thinking about getting a new car. maybe now, i can kill two birds with one stone.
Posted by heidijanet at 08:36 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 23, 2004
warning label
i've decided. there should be a surgeon general's warning clearly displayed on the label of every alcoholic beverage:
SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: If you consume more than 3 or more alcoholic beverages, check with your girlfriends before attempting to operate any telecommunication device (including cell phones, text messaging, and email). Excessive Alcohol Consumption Causes Impaired Judgement, Irrational Thinking, And May Complicate Your Social Life.
that's all i have to say about that.
Posted by heidijanet at 08:38 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 22, 2004
bottle cap wisdom
under the bottle cap of my honest tea:
"those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it."
- chinese proverb
yes.
Posted by heidijanet at 08:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 18, 2004
latent towel folding neurosis
let me start by saying, my mother is a clean freak with a strict aesthetic. growing up i remember that on any given day, if you walked down the hall and opened the linen closet, you'd see perfect stacks of towels tied in batches of three with ribbon. it was that bad.
so this afternoon, pulling the towels out of the dryer, i suddenly became aware of something about myself i never noticed before...
i pull out the towels, dump them in a pile on the couch, fold each towel in half once the long way and then in thirds so they stack nicely.
then i promptly pick them up, carry them into the back bathroom, unfold them, then re-fold them in thirds the long way and drape them over the towel rod.
as i pointed this out to my roommate, i realized how ludicrous this is. laughing so hard her tea starts to spill out of her cup, she asks wryly, "would you like some ribbon? i have some..."
bugger. one more thing. i thought my dinner plate organization was bad enough.
Posted by heidijanet at 10:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
April 02, 2004
blood and rain
yesterday i tried to give blood. i made an appointment a month ago when i heard
that the blood drive was coming to the office. and yesterday, knowing i should
eat something (which i rarely do in the mornings) i dutifully ate a muffin and
some soup. i drank 3 bottles of water. i was nervous, but ready. and i kind of
had to pee.
as i sign in there's a woman sitting in a chair with ice packs strapped to both
elbows looking a little pale. suddenly she starts to get a little green around
the gills and three workers have to practically carry her back into the RV. that
wasn't promising. they call my name, and i crawl into the converted RV in the
parking lot at work, answer all the questions and get pricked to test my
blood...for something or other. they drop a tiny bit into a little beeker full
of blue liquid and watch it carefully..."oops, you're a floater!". can't give
blood. not enough hemoglobin. i was disappointed, but to be honest, i was also
kind of relieved.
on another note, did you know that there's actually a word for that amazing
smell after it rains? it's petrichor (PET-ri-kuhr), meaning "the pleasant smell
that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell".
i was very pleased to find there's a word for that smell. i just wish it sounded
a little more like it smells.
Posted by heidijanet at 09:54 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 27, 2004
bet you didn't know...
i received this from a friend...and decided that instead of spamming my friends, i'd post it here. kind of like a friday five. except, there are more than five questions.
obviously.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS? freaks me out.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSEPAD: my hand
FAVORITE SMELLS: rain and the skin of the person i love (or like a LOT)
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: disappointment
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: anticipation
FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: requiem for a dream
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? what am i doing with my life?
DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS: never
ROLLER COASTERS - SCARY OR EXCITING: exciting
PEN OR PENCIL: #4 pencil
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE: hm. depends. i screen.
FAVORITE FOOD: tie between french/japanese
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: chocolate
FAVORITE ICE CREAM: haagen daaz vanilla (with fresh strawberries)
ANIMALS: spider monkey
STORMS - COOL OR SCARY: cool.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: 1978 datsun b210 with honeycomb hubcaps
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE: dorothy parker
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: dirty martini - grey goose, straight up, 3 olives
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN: Leo
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET: ee cummings
GUYS - IF A GIRL ASKED FOR THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK, WOULD YOU GIVE IT:
GIRLS - WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT: absolutely. then i'd ask for his pants.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE: writer.
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE: uh. i can dye it any color and i do. so the color it is right now.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: absolutely.
WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM: series of storyboards from an animated short i worked on with a friend, a charcoal sketch (a heidi wright orginal), a jackson collins painting i bought on venice beach, a few paintings of mine and a concert poster from clapton's 2001 "farewell" concert.
IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY: uhh. yes.
IF YOU COULD BE A GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD YOU BE: a garden ho. i mean hoe. *snicker*
WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED: boxes with my off season clothes. and books that won't fit on my bookshelf.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER: 13 and 3
WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR? 1963 split-window corvette
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: tournament pool
Posted by heidijanet at 05:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 25, 2004
well here's my interpretation
some poor soul found my site googling "interpretation waking up to pajamas on backwards". which i think is pretty hilarious.
so here's my interpretation:
assuming you went to bed with your pajamas on correctly and in the morning found yourself with your pajamas on backwards i suspect that either 1) you sleep like a stone and have a cruel roommate or significant other that you may want to consider having a chat with or; 2) you are exhibiting signs of a person who is experiencing a severe emotional regression in your bedroom and should seek professional help; or 3) your subconscious is telling you that pajamas are not for you and you should try sleeping sans pajamas and see what ends up backward in the morning.
on my end, i will do some soul-searching out of concern that i rank pretty high on google for having one's pajamas inexplicably on backwards upon waking while simultaneously holding the top spot for googling "naughty evidence locker".
Posted by heidijanet at 12:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 20, 2004
banging my drum
i knew i was on to something with my deep-seated desire to play the drums!
now i understand it's good for me too!!
i wonder if the benefits will outweigh the inevitable rockstar lifestyle...?
i'm certain they will.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 18, 2004
bad idea
overheard:
q: how does a person survive?
a: with experience
q: what kind of experience?
a: making good decisions.
q: how do you know if they are good decisions?
a: bad decisions.
there was one thing that i desperately wanted to know. what do you do when you know what the good decision is...but for some damned reason...you make the bad decision. over. and over.
i'm having one of those days. again.
Posted by heidijanet at 01:18 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
February 17, 2004
three whole dayzzz
i had a three-day weekend, because amgen takes every single holiday off. it's kind of ironic. i'm working at an hourly rate, which means that for the first time in over a decade, i qualify for overtime. so i finally get paid for my god-awful workaholic nature...and every other friggin' week i have to take a day off...essentially cancelling out the overtime pay.
at any rate i took full advantage of my weekend by NOT sleeping at all on saturday, and sleeping all day sunday.
monday i played pool.
all very productive.
Posted by heidijanet at 05:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
February 14, 2004
dim recollection
recently i've developed a pattern of waking up in the dim dark of my room in the wee hours of the morning with palpable awareness that my life is finite. that at some point, i will die.
i've raised this with friends, over dinner or coffee, and the pat response is that this...is morbid. subject changed.
but in the wee hours of the morning, it isn't morbid. quite the opposite. it is as if my well-rested mind is sending up a flare of warning. and it's smart enough to catch my attention before i become preoccupied with being late for work, did i pick up the drycleaning, what should i wear today and oh, did i get approval for that artwork before it went to print?
in the dim light of pre-morning, blinking at the clock that reads 5:03am, i am painfully aware of time passing in a seemingly infinite present of sameness. in sharp contradiction to the cram-packedness of distractions, and their illusion of purpose.
and this weighs on me.
Posted by heidijanet at 09:23 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
February 13, 2004
six words
just six words, and i'm depressed. it's kind of amazing...
"...by whom liability is expressly denied..."
for me, those are the six most miserable words in the universe. at least so far.
Posted by heidijanet at 02:31 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
February 06, 2004
er, i guess they mean me
uh, apparently knitting's the new fad for young, urban americans.
who could have predicted that? or better yet, that i'd be one of those young, urbanites?
Posted by heidijanet at 04:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
January 26, 2004
Rule #2
so my father posted some sage, if a bit chiding, advice for his short-sighted, garage-tumbling daughter in the comments section of a recent post.
as a result inquiring minds have emailed me to find out what rule#2 is. my dad graciously responded to the request:
Rule #2
Never, NEVER pull anything off of a shelf if you can't see the top of the
box!
so there you have it.
Posted by heidijanet at 03:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 22, 2004
disrupting the peace
did you know that if you go to msn.com and search for "disrupting the peace" that the second result...is this website?
hilarious.
Posted by heidijanet at 03:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
January 04, 2004
pursuit of happiness
i've had several conversations with friends about the pursuit of happiness lately. i had the luxury of meeting up with my friend ariel recently and we ended up in a discussion about her writings and how they might be organized, which led to an exchange how her perspective tends to be misinterpreted as overly positive. if there is such a thing.
the conversation subsequently turned toward the observation about how we live our lives and experience joy, in direct correlation to our understanding of suffering.
she described a woman she knows that has led a fairly positive life, great family, fulfilling marriage, financial stability, and yet this woman still manages to infuse her daily life with a tremendous amount of self-inflicted worry, complaining and unhappiness. the assertion was that we, have a need to "balance" our lives with a corresponding level of unhappiness to compensate for our good fortune. and vice versa.
while i believe that this is fundamentally true, i also suspect that in this assertion the element of choice has been left out. ultimately, i believe that as humans we are incapable of a sustained state of happiness. we hope, we strive for something better. something more than what we have. this is what drives us on a daily basis to overcome the shit that life throws our way, and also creates our common sense of "if this is good, then more is better" mentality.
a friend forwarded an article to me today about a psychologist that studies "happiness" and our pursuit of such. i found this article interesting, but also (like many "studies") predictable.
it suggests that we are, as humans, capable of extraordinary adaptability. that when asked to choose between some kind of hypothetical misfortune and another, we not only make incredibly short-sighted selections, we grossly underestimate our capacity to survive, and in fact thrive, in the face of a particular adversity.
anyone who has experienced great hardship, learns that we are far more capable of surviving than we might have ever imagined. and through this adversity, often find that happiness is not in what we achieve, nor in what we posess, but in our capacity to appreciate what we have at this very moment.
i had another friend who told me once that he would never place his faith in anything that could be lost easily. to never count on money, looks, security, health or the "bright and shiny shit" to offer lasting contentedness. and i found this to be sage advice, until i learned that just about anything can be lost in an instant.
through the last few years, through a bit of rough treatment by the universe, i found that the only thing we can control, is our reaction to any given event. that we have a choice. our happiness directly correlates to our understanding of suffering. but that this happiness is also a choice. how we intrerpret and learn from our experience. i suspect that the only thing that might offer lasting satisfaction is borne of our ability to choose who and what we love. how we spend our time and the value we accord it.
and if we mistakenly expect that there is someone, or something, that will fill this void, or become a salve for our dissatisfaction, then we are ultimately doomed to a lifetime of misery.
but more importantly, i suspect that because we are naturally inclined to balance our suffering or good fortune with its natural counterpart, it becomes more important to understand the element of choice in this equation.
i'm not sure that i've totally made up my mind on this, because perhaps in the face of great hardship we can only adapt and survive because we have no choice. but i'm not sure this thinking accounts for all of the miserable, depressed folks that have given over to their hardship nor the incredibly happy, seemingly oblivous, people i've run across over the years.
either way, i'll continue to plod on in my pursuit.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:11 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
December 15, 2003
hey, what'd she say?
overheard at the office: "well it's hard to deal with him, cuz he's a total tweaker."
my ears pricked up for a split-second thinking that some tantalizing gossip about a strung out co-worker was about to spill out of the nearby office...then realizing that in corporate america, it's a much more tame translation.
i assume she meant that the gentleman in question liked to "tweak" or "make minor changes ad infinitum" to stuff. not freebase home-cooked concoctions of drano and other underthesink chemicals.
*yawn* i'll guess i'll just keep waiting for the hairy underbelly of co-worker gossip to reveal itself at the sales meeting in vegas. hehheh.
Posted by heidijanet at 03:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 24, 2003
free-range t-day
i'm celebrating this thanksgiving quietly with my parents and a couple of orphaned friends this week at my house. so when i was shopping at trader joe's over the weekend, i picked myself up a twelve-pound free-range turkey. which kind of amuses me. how am i supposed to feel better about the slaughter of an otherwise happy turkey frolicking in the countryside?
anyway, now that i have the damn thing in my fridge, i have no idea what do do with it. i've heard that there are high-temperatures and a baster involved...oh wait that might be a different story. *snicker*
seriously, if anyone has some good advice for a virgin t-day hostess, please share. thanks in advance.
Posted by heidijanet at 01:28 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
November 18, 2003
vending machine karma
i hate it when you're feeling all snacky and you go to the vending machine for chips...and it gets stuck in the coil thingy. makes me all pissy. especially when i just used my last 2 quarters. this happened the other day, and i stomped back to my desk chipless and feeling...well unsatisfied.
so today, i go to get one of those horribly wonderful pre-packaged rice krispie treats. you know the kind in the garish shiny blue wrapping that make you feel all chemically jacked up and slightly ill? and guess what drops down with it? a bag of chips.
i guiltily glanced around to see if anyone was looking, held it in my hand and thought about it for a minute. then remembered that the damn thing left me hanging last time.
i decided that it's karmically _my_ bag of chips. so i'm eating it.
Posted by heidijanet at 01:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 12, 2003
it's not voyeurism
i've had many friends and family members over the last year, sheepishly admit that they have been...gasp...reading my blog.
now i assume that occasionally people i know might stumble across it. but in my mind, it's not voyeurism if i've put it out in the public domain. it is by nature, public information. there is some etiquette on this however, which i've found was best articulated by ariel.
so, if you know me in person and we're chatting or whatever and i start to mention something that you've already read here, please let me know. i won't be offended, in fact, i may be relieved at not having to repeat myself.
on the other hand, if you know me and you've read something here and reference it in real life, i'd sure appreciate your mentioning that you knew that by reading it. it's always creepy when someone reads through the blog, but then uses the information to seem as though they "know you really well". i can always tell when someone does that. and i hate that.
of course then there's always the potential that your mom finds out about blog. (courtesy of the onion, thanks for the link judi / mike) *snicker*
Posted by heidijanet at 02:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 30, 2003
loopy
the last few days i've kinda felt crappy achy like i'm about to get sick-like. so this morning when i got up and felt like my bedroom had been depressurized at 30,000 feet i knew it was time for my favorite kick-ass decongestant, dayquil.
i love dayquil, it makes all signs of cold or general malaise vanish. and in it's place? well, a little head floating a few inches off the neck feeling i'd always chalked up to decongestant induced clarity and relief.
my friend ariel informed me one day that it's actually because dayquil contains a disassociative drug--dextromethorphan--creating sensations similar to ketamine and pcp.
haven't decided if that's good or bad news. but in the meantime i'll have one more swig of dayquil thank you very much.
Posted by heidijanet at 02:10 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 28, 2003
hive mind
ok so over the last year or so i've noticed a strange collective phenomena among my social circle.
for some inexplicable reason completely random, unrelated people in my life have spontaneously begun addressing me as..."miss heidi".
i've had co-workers, friends, remote acquaintences, the guy at the corner store, and now...someone who hasn't actually met me has taken to it.
now the coincidence has far exceeded what one would normally accept as such. but i don't know what to make of it.
Posted by heidijanet at 04:28 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 24, 2003
fantasies are like that
checking out my referral logs, a visitor came to this site by searching google to find out "how i can learn to hurt my ankle badly enough to need crutches".
anyone who checks their logs will find a myriad of freaky shit that leads the twisted and perverse to your site. but this one was personal.
so just in case this visitor comes back i want them to hear from me that most fantasies, when realized do not live up to what you envision in your mind's eye.
crutches might seem exciting or fun to some people. the helplessness. the dependency. maybe there's a little master/servant thing tickling the imagination. or maybe it's the desperate need for automatic sympathy from strangers. or the sense of importance of moving to the front of any line. or even just the great handicapped seats in the movie theatre.
let me take a moment to shatter the illusions of your misplaced fantasy:
- chafing under your arms
- constant backache
- passersby don't know what to do, so they tend to ignore you--even knock you over
- even worse, most people that see you coming don't get out of the way, they just crowd in front of you for fear of being slowed down by your gimpiness
- you can't carry your groceries
- you can't carry a cup of coffee or glass of wine from one room to another
- you probably can't drive (depending on the foot)
- you can't clean your house
- the crutches tend to get tangled up in swinging gates or slip up in water landing you promptly on your ass. over and over.
- and if you've had too much to drink...well strange things happen.
- grocery shopping is a nightmare.
- going out to a club is impossible.
...i could really go on and on, but you get the idea.
and let me tell you this, if you've hurt your ankle badly enough to be on crutches? well, after the crutches are off you can likely expect a lifetime of arthritic pain, swelling, limping, orthopedic shoes and ugly compression socks.
here's my advice to you, email me your address and i'll ship you my crutches free of charge. then go to your local drug store, buy a lace up brace and crutch around for a few weeks. get it out of your system.
because trust me, my friend--fantasies are fantasies for a reason. keep 'em there.
Posted by heidijanet at 02:53 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
October 21, 2003
inexplicable traffic jams
i've had my share of inexplicable traffic jams in los angeles. one time, heading south on the 101 i was in an hour-long jam just to learn that there was a leggy blonde on the shoulder who's car had overheated and she was waiting for AAA. that one made me angry and bitter about la traffic morons.
another time, there was a ladder in the #3 lane that caused a 30 minute jam as everyone swerved around the offending hardware. this one was understandable, but frustrating nonetheless.
however this morning, i was crawling along highway 1 in malibu for about 20 minutes before finally coming upon the source of the slowdown. a buck-naked homeless man proudly parading up the coast pushing his shopping cart with one hand while the other was held high in the air swinging a plastic shopping bag to an unheard rhythm like a limp baton of a drum major at the head of his own hypothetical marching band.
this one made me laugh out loud.
Posted by heidijanet at 11:36 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 18, 2003
*snooze*
i made it through my first week at amgen. i'm also doing some freelance work with my last employer.
and my good friend ariel is moving back to seattle. no more conversastions over drinks puncutated with wild gesticulations and funny stories about flying rats (see comments) or bitching about office politics. *sniff* but now i have an apartment in seattle and ariel will be much happier far, far away from the plastic people living in perpetual sunshine--so i think it's all for the best.
anyway, waking up at dawn to trek up the coast to spend the whole day in meetings, learn about processes and new drugs to heading back home to work on revamping and redesigning ramprate's site, to going-away parties and introducing a new roommate and her kitty into the